Sweet Hospitality
by EATnRunBandit
Summary: AU YULLEN: Kanda has an extremely tiny, not to mention, unexpected visitor in his home. It called itself a Brownie. What the hell is a brownie!


Brownie.

If one were to hear that word, they might automatically assume the sweet chocolaty goodness baked in the oven and cut in perfect squares.

Or maybe, the idea of little girl scouts grouping together to develop character, citizenship (and whatever else) through outdoor activities and community service.

But this other definition of "Brownie", Kanda had never heard before in his life.

It just suddenly popped out from inside a box of chocolate, extending out its little chocolate-covered hand, graciously greeting him with a courteous smile—also chocolate-covered.

"Nice to meet you," it said, (although it seemed impossible for it to talk at first). I'm your Brownie. I hope we get along well."

Its fingers were tiny; the body was tiny, along with a supposed teensy weensy pea of a brain lodged inside that tiny white head.

In fact, it seemed so tiny to the Japanese man, that in his eyes, it seemed like a bug.

And whenever he saw bugs, he would always squash them till its guts spilled out.

Squash.

**Sweet Hospitality**

"What was that for," it squeaked out, trying desperately to block the black heel of the man's boot. Kanda frowned as he lifted his foot off the thing and walked to a nearby cabinet in the kitchen and took out a spray can.

The little being looked up in terrifying horror as he realized the human had taken out:

Bug spray.

Letting out a little scream, he ran and ran with the tall man persistently on his tiny heels. Luckily for the little one, the human lived in a small apartment—there was less distance to run. But negatively thinking; he was stuck like a mouse in a maze.

For everything was big. Really big.

The furnishings seemed like the Himalayas, impassible and formidable. The floor like a long and lengthy pasture that would take days to journey across (but maybe he was exaggerating just a little). But as for the human, he was a giant, similar to the one that rumbled out "Fee Fi Fo Fum".

A damn brontosaurus was more like it however.

"Damn bug," the man cursed out. "Come back here," he said, brandishing the can like a crazed swordsman.

The tiny one ducked under the safety of the narrow niche of a couch and stayed there. The Japanese man furrowed his brow as he sprayed with frenzy, as his hands weren't able to squeeze through.

"Stop doing that, you monster," the hiding one hacked out. "It stinks like your dust bunnies."

But Kanda kept on spraying and spraying and the tiny being kept on coughing and hacking, until the hazardous substance had worn out. The man shook the can and threw it on the ground in frustration.

"Shit." He got up from the ground and stalked away to another room. After a little more tiny coughs, the diminutive one exhaled out a relaxed breath.

He must have given up, he thought with his tiny head and sat down on some dust bunnies in relief. The human did have a fairly neat home, but there were some places that were completely filthy. Like under the couch and bed for instance. Dust and filth were hidden underneath cracks and crevices, and as a Brownie, he could not stand for it. He took out a rag from his vest pocket and began to clean the corner of the wall as he whistled to a scattered tune.

Then the rag flew out of his hand and fluttered outside the nook of the couch. He blinked his eyes as his white bangs flailed against his face. Holding on for dear life to the carpet fibers, his entire tiny body flapped in the direction his rag flew. His little eardrums were overfilled to the brim with a horrible sucking noise. He let out a shout as he spotted a large overwhelming tube sticking under the couch.

"Got you now," he heard the man's voice say, even from over the boisterous vacuuming noise.

The little one tightened his grip and a feeling of despair crept over him.

Human vacuums. He shuddered. They were a formidable opponent (although not compared to the cats). At least _his_ vacuum was a very friendly being, also one of his best friends too—even though his hobby was to bite his head with pearly whites.

His tiny body then flopped to the floor when the sucking noise had ceased. Wary, he poked his head out in the open. The man spotted his white hair and growled.

"Still alive are we?" He reached for the switch of the vacuum cleaner and the other started to panic.

"W-W-Wait! Is this how you treat your Brownie?"

The man cocked an eyebrow. "So you can talk, bug."

"How rude!" the little one said. "Of course I can talk. And I'm not 'bug', I'm Allen the Brownie," he stated as he fixed his red ribbon. "Remember that for next time, okay?"

Kanda couldn't believe this. Was this some sort of a prank? He glanced around the room and stared at the tiny thing once more.

It seemed to be a little boy, a bit too little, that had been shrunken down to hand length size by a science fiction concoction or shrink ray. It looked sickly too, with pale white hair and paler skin, decorated with a disgusting looking scar.

He frowned. This just wasn't naturally possible. No human could be so… tiny. Not to mention that he was an extreme realist. As a result, he flipped the switch for the vacuum. The boy flailed his arms as high as he could.

"Wait! I can explain everything!" he claimed.

"Shut up. Bugs should die." He brought the tube in closer.

"I told you, I am not a bug!" Allen yelled out. When he felt his skin being sucked towards the hole, he tried desperately to convince the human to turn off that dreadful vacuum.

"Listen to me, will you? Listen!"

Allen had to grab onto the carpet once more. Now he knew what Dorothy felt like, being swept away by a blasted tornado.

"Geez, you are extremely rude," he said trying to calm himself down, "Even though I'm your guest. Can't you show some hospitality?"

"Guest my ass," Kanda said. "I never once recall inviting a- whatever you are- to my place!"

The tiny boy flew off the carpet, and grabbed on the edge of the tube, using all his strength as to not get sucked into the black hole.

"Well, maybe _you_ didn't," he loudly shouted over the noise, "But your father did!"

Kanda froze. "What are you talking about? I don't have a father."

"Well he said he was your father! Tiedoll, right?!" he screamed out. "He recently went on a trip to England, didn't he! That's where he got me, and he sent me in a package full of souvenirs for you!" The boy tried vainly to point at the box on the kitchen table, but could only point with his gaze. "I'm supposed to help you out, as your blasted Brownie!"

The Japanese man brought the end of the tube closer to him. "You'd better not be lying, bug," he said with a glare.

"I'm not!" the other shouted. "Go check for yourself! He left a note for you explaining everything!"

After a moment of silence, Kanda clicked his tongue and dropped the pipe, little Allen letting out a tiny 'eep' as it abruptly dropped to the floor. He watched as the man took a cardboard box out of the trashcan and dug through its contents. When he reached for a slip of paper from inside, he couldn't help but mentally laugh at the strange sight of the man frowning and thinking at the same time. It was really… entertaining. The little Brownie had never seen something so amusing like this frowning man before.

Kanda was silent for a long while and tiny Allen sat there on the carpet, staring at the man's intense face. Allen would do the occasional yawn of boredom and would pick off some lint from the carpet. But the man didn't seem to budge at all from his spot.

"Excuse me," small Allen rang out in a tiny voice. "Excuse me." He breathed in deeply. "Excuse me," he yelled out from the top of his lungs, "but are you done reading yet? You're such a slow reader."

Kanda shifted his eyes towards… wherever he was supposed to look. What was calling out to him again?

Little Brownie Allen frantically waved his arms to grab his attention.

Oh yeah. That thing.

Allen sighed. "So, are you convinced now? That I'm real? That your father sent me to help you out?"

"…"

"Hello? I'm right here. Are you blind as well? Or are you a deaf human?"

"…"

Allen frowned. "You're rude. I'm beginning to have second thoughts about this, but unfortunately, I have nowhere to go but here, so you might as well accept me into your humble home."

"…"

He sighed again and straightened his ribbon. "You know… being hospitable? Do humans really not like to be nice mannered these days?"

"…"

"Hey! Answer me you bastard!" he angrily shouted. He narrowed his tiny silver eyes at the tall man. "Why do you keep on ignoring me? Don't tell me you don't believe in fairies too. You are completely different from your father."

Kanda stared at the little being. He could feel a tense sensation pulsing through his brain.

"You," he finally said.

"Yes?" Allen replied. "You finally answer me. What a miracle," he said as he raised his arms in a joking way. He froze as he suffocated under the piercing gaze of the angry looking human. "W-What's with that stare?"

The Japanese man seriously wanted a nice cup of green tea right about now. He sharply groaned.

"I thought if I ignored that thing, it would have disappeared like some shitty dream. I guess it's a nightmare," he supposedly said to himself.

Little Allen gaped open his mouth.

Superb. Another human who didn't believe in fairies, let alone the mythical creatures called Brownies—beings who would settle in a home and take part in household tasks. (Although truthfully, little Allen was a weird Brownie compared to the others. He liked to call it a sweet revolution).

Did humans become so conceited not to believe in fairy like creatures anymore?

Whatever happened to the imagination? Does it no longer exist?

--

This is a two chapter story.


End file.
